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Web Original From The Onion article "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination":Fonseca then imagined himself dramatically pausing for a moment before dropping the empty pistols from his outstretched hands and taking a cigarette from the bullet-ridden Marlboro display

Durkin told the House how his 17-year-old daughter told him the tobacco and e-cigarette problem was out of control at her school

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No concrete evidence of exactly what they smoked exists, but the most probable theory is that the tobacco was much stronger, consumed in extreme amounts, or was mixed with other, unknown psychoactive drugs